


Your Best American Girl

by janellio



Category: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: F/M, Making Out, No Plot, Some light (legal) pot smoking, teenage romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 09:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16658212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janellio/pseuds/janellio
Summary: "You're the one, you're all I ever wanted, I think I'll regret this."Their relationship after, Spring and Summer and hanging out, going to parties and being together, learning how to be together for real.Movie Verse with some book elements and quotes, set in Portland.





	1. Party at Greg's

Greg’s parties are always legendary. Lara Jean used to see the posts on instagram from classmates that went, usually Peter and Gen sometimes Chris but never her. It’s just that she’s never gonna chose going to one of his parties over reading a book or hanging out with her sisters and watching a movie in her comfy sweats. She’s just not the girl that goes to parties, but Peter is the boy that goes to parties. Plays beer pong, knows everyone, capturing funny shit on instagram, friendly with kids from other schools. It's the kind of guy Peter is.

They spent the last couple of weeks hanging out at home watching movies with Kitty or Owen and waiting for the heat from the hot tub video to die down before going back out, and in some ways it was an excuse. But it’s been nice, them being in their own kind of bubble outside of school.

She knows Peter’s kind of going crazy, needs to blow off some steam from lacrosse and stress from school, hang with his friends and maybe have a couple of beers. It’s just that she’s always nervous at big parties, when she’s with Peter around other people. “What is he doing with her?” A low thrumming echo in the back of her brain. Peter has never ever made her feel that way or their friends for that matter, but she can't help what the other kids think and she thinks sometimes.

So sometimes she still feels out of place, a little adrift without Peter beside her to tether her. She's isn’t the girl that stayed at home on a Friday night watching Golden Girls with Kitty anymore but she’s trying.  
******  
“You look great” Peter says when they walk up to the door, Cardi B making the whole house vibrate. She stops fidgeting with her dress and looks up. She still feels kind of apprehensive and some of that must show on her face a bit because Peter squeezes her hand “Relax Covey, the guys love you” 

Half smiling she replies, “Thanks?”

He leans over and kisses her, pushing her hair back from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

“It’s gonna be fun” he says pushing open the door and pulling her into the crush of the party.

******

“Hey Pete, Largie what’s up?” he says slapping Peter’s hand in greeting “Where you been?”, Lara Jean rolls her eyes at the nickname but smiles slightly, being included.  
Peter gets her a drink, “it’s just from the keg” he says and slings his arm casually around her shoulders as they talk with Greg and Tommy for a bit before he’s pulled into a game beer pong, smiling apologetically “I’ll find you later k?” kissing her briefly.

Lara Jean wanders around a bit looking for Lucas or Chris before finding Chris by the food.

“LJ!” She says grabbing a bag of Doritos “you came!”

She hears a scoff and turns to see Gen rolling her eyes.

“Hey Lara Jean” Gen smirks, “Glad to see you out and about, fully clothed” 

“Yeah, thanks for that Gen” she says before Gen sneers and turns back to Emily.

Chris rolls her eyes pulls Lara Jean to the couch.  


The beer pong game has drawn a crowd with yelling every time a shot splashes into a cup. Peter looks over at her grinning and catching her eye, “Watch this” he mouths and tosses the ping pong ball, landing neatly in the opposing teams cup, he celebrates loudly Greg and Steve slapping him on the back.

She looks away shaking her head and smiling, she never thought she’d be with a jock that plays stupid drinking games but here they are. 

“You two are gross” Chris says where they’re sitting on the couch.

“What?” 

“I can see the heart eyes from here, it’s sickening” 

Lara Jean takes a sip of her beer to hide her smirk. Chris rolls her eyes and glances around the party, “Hey let’s go outside.”

“Okaaay,” Lara Jean says, getting up and following her through the glass doors.

There’s a couple of people outside milling about, but not too many so Chris and Lara Jean sit in the deck chairs at by the pool. “So why are we out here again?” Lara Jean asks.  
Chris rummages around in her bag and takes out an Altoids tin, extracting a joint and lighter “Ta dah!”

“Really Chris?”

“Loosen up LJ,” She says reaching over and shaking her leg “we legalized it!” She lights the end and takes a deep pull, exhaling out, “Besides, how can you judge something you’ve never even experienced?” she asks eyes squinted against the smoke.

Lara Jean has to admit Chris has a point, and she does want to have a good time or at least as good of a time as she can have at one of these ragers so she holds her hand out, “Okay”

“Wait, seriously?” Chris asks.

“I should try it least once right?” she says with a confidence she does not feel.

She holds it like she’s seen in so many teen movies and glances at Chris for a second, who looks like she doesn't really believe Lara Jean is gonna do it and that's what spurs her to inhale deep and hold it before exhaling and coughing loudly, the hand that isn't holding the lit joint covering her mouth as she coughs again.

“Way to go LJ!” Chris says thumping her back.

“Okay this isn't so bad” She admits, taking another hit and blowing out the smoke in a slow stream, barely suppressing the urge to cough.

“Wait that's enough, you're still a novice” Chris says reaching to take it back.

“I’m completely fine, I don’t see what the big deal is.”

******

Chris is crunching on the Doritos, half scrolling through Instagram half keeping her eye on Lara Jean who is currently laying down, feet in the heated pool while staring at the sky, and she feels amazing she’s saying out loud and wouldn’t it be great to swim? Why does she never have a bathing suit when she wants to 

“Hey Covey, Chris” Peter greets them walking up, “I’ve been looking for you,” Peter stops short, wrinkling his nose, “Why does it reek of weed?”  
“Peter” Chris waves, “Join us” she says lazily.

Peter sits next to Lara Jean, glancing worriedly at Chris first. 

“Are you okay?” He asks her peering into her face from above. 

Her face is slack and her eyes are half way open and she grins widely before patting Peter’s cheek. “You have such a nice face” she says admiringly. 

“She might be a little stoned” Chris says her nacho cheese dusted index finger and thumb apart as if that indicates the exact amount of stoned Lara Jean is.

“What!?” Peter exclaims glaring at Chris, “Are you serious right now?”

Chris shrugs, “she wanted to try it”

Peter shakes his head, “We’re leaving.”

“I’m right here” Lara Jean says sitting up and waving her hand in his face “and it’s not my curfew yet” 

Peter chuckles shaking his head and pulls her up and picks up her shoes. “Come on, Covey. We’re gonna get you fed and hopefully sober enough to go home”.”

“But I’m not hungry.”

“You’re gonna be” a knowing smirk on Peters face.  
******  
“Food is so good” Lara Jean says emphatically, dipping her fries into Peter’s chocolate shake. 

“MMhmm” Peter laughs watching her.

“What?” she says eating the fries and sucking the chocolate off her finger tips.

Peters eyes are crinkled and fond when he says “You’re high” and laughs again, “I never thought I’d see the day”

“What do you mean?” Lara Jean says wiping her fingers on the stack of paper napkins 

“You're just so…”

“Innocent? Goody goody?” Lara Jean interrupts, saying any of the things she’s overheard people saying about her “Naive?”

“Whoa hey, no” Peter says the grin slipping off his face, “that’s not what I was gonna say at all” he spreads his hands in emphasis.

“But I know you think it sometimes” Lara Jean says fiddling with her straw and looking down.

Peter reaches and stills her hands, lacing their fingers together.

“Covey, you are innocent” Peter smiles “it’s one of the best things about you.”

“I can be irresponsible!” Lara Jean insists “I can be fun”

“Who ever said you weren’t? Peter asks, brow furrowed.

Lara Jean sips her cherry coke to regroup for a second and try to order her scattered thoughts in a cohesive manner, and Peter is quiet, playing with her hand while he waits.

“I mean ok” she says pulling her hand away and tucking her hair behind her ear “Like, I know your idea of a good time isn’t hanging out with me and Kitty at our house watching movies.”

“Who says that’s not my idea of a good time?” Peter sighs and runs his hand through his hair and continues “I don’t know why you think that, but I like spending time with you Lara Jean. No matter what we’re doing” He won’t look away from her, it’s like he’s willing her to believe him, that intense look he gets when he’s being so sincere and earnest she has to look away before nodding and replying.

“Okay” finishing off her soda while Peter pays the bill.  
******  
“Did you have fun tonight?” Peter asks as he drives, His hand resting on her thigh, a warm weight. 

“It was cool” Lara Jean says, leaning against the window, cheek resting on the glass, watching the street lights go by “and I know that you have fun” she says placing her hand over his. 

Peter nods, quiet for a moment.

“You know you don’t have to try to be anything different for me right?” He asks glancing over. 

Lara Jean nods, “I know.” She pauses, “I guess I just wanted to see what it was like.” what it was like to play a part almost, to get out of her head...have fun without worrying about consequences. 

She thinks Peter hears the unsaid part because he replies, “Ok.” understanding,“You know we can just chill next time.”

Lara Jean squeezes his hand.

“Can you keep driving?” Lara jean asks turning to look at him, the street lights illuminating his face briefly “I don’t want to go home just yet”

Peter passes their turn off and they keep driving, rolling the windows all the way down, music loud, the wind whipping her hair around her face as she lets her hand dance in the wind.


	2. Studying

Lacrosse season officially starting in the spring means that Peter’s been staying after for practices, away games on weekends and conditioning during the week. They barely won their last game, eking out a win and because of it his coach made practices longer, making them run drills and sprints. He usually texts Lara Jean about it, bitching about coach and how sore he is, completely wiped when he drives over. 

“You don't have to you know,” she says playing with Peter’s drying hair while his head is on her lap. 

“Trying to get rid of me Covey?” he grins up at her.

“Maybe” she shrugs and leans over to kiss him. 

So when he falls asleep while they're watching Some Kind of Wonderful she’s not surprised. She turns off the movie and lights when she gets up.

“Peter’s asleep” Kitty cackles devilishly coming into the kitchen where Lara Jean is starting dinner.

“Don’t mess with him Kitty, He’s been really tired from Lacrosse”

“You are no fun.” Kitty pouts then clambers onto a stool, “Whatcha cooking?”

******  
She’s running water over the burnt chicken waving away the steam with a dish towel while Kitty ignores all of this in favor of playing a game on Lara Jean’s phone.

“Hey” Peter says wandering into the kitchen “you could have woken me up”

“You seemed like you needed a nap” she said standing on her tiptoes kissing him briefly.

“Gross” Kitty says, “but then again this is all my doing” she says smugly.

Lara Jean swivels to glare at Kitty but Peter laughs. “Hey kiddo” he greets Kitty tugging a braid and leaning next to her on the countertop, “What's for dinner?”

Lara Jean grimaces, looking at the sink where the charred remains of dinner are still smoking “It was supposed to be stir fry” she says forlornly.

“We’re ordering pizza” Kitty says holding up the phone showing she’s already dialed the number.

******  
“Hey Mom” Peter calls out when he walks in, setting his keys in the dish by the door.

“My long lost son, I barely see you anymore” Peter’s Mom responds. He rolls his eyes good naturedly and goes to stand next to her at the sink and starts to dry and put away the dishes already in the dish rack.

“Not true,” Peter says shaking his head “You saw me this morning and last night”

She bumps him with her hip affectionately, “You know what I mean”

Peter does. 

“You know she’s always welcome here right?” she says taking her hands out of the water, turning to look at him. 

Peter nods sheepishly. He always wants to hang out with Covey at her house, enjoy the cookies or cupcakes and laugh at movies with Kitty. Even make awkward, but getting less weird, small talk with Dr. Covey. And his mom does her best, he knows she does, but he also knows about the late night conversations with his dad he isn't supposed to hear, when he’s behind on his child support and alimony payments. So he comes home later when he figures mom may be in bed to avoid seeing her tired at the end of another long day. 

“Well, Lara Jean can come over for dinner again this Friday.” Peter starts to protest when she goes on, “I’ll make lasagna.”

Peter perks up, his mom’s lasagna is the best “Sure, okay I’ll ask.”

“And for that,” She continues, handing him the sponge “you can finish washing up.”

“Ugh, fine” he says leaning into her a little when she hugs him goodnight.

******

“Hey Mom” he says walking in with Lara Jean, giving her a brief kiss on the cheek while she’s stirring tomato sauce, a glass of red wine on the counter. The ricotta and mozzarella out and shredded, the whole house smelling savory and warm.

“Hi Ms. Kavinsky, the food smells amazing.” 

Ms. Kavinsky smiles warmly at her “Thank you Lara Jean”

“I brought cookies” setting down a tupperware container of snickerdoodles.

“You didn’t have to do that” she says slapping away Peters hand from where he’s trying to sneak one out. 

“Ow,” he says snatching his hand back.

“Owen’s getting dropped off by Mrs. Simmons from soccer practice, so you don’t need to get him” 

“We’re gonna study for a bit unless you need any help?” 

She shakes her head. “I’m okay here”

“Are you sure?” Lara Jean asks ignoring Peter’s obvious gesturing. 

“Absolutely, Lara Jean” she says taking a sip of her wine, turning back to the stovetop. “Peter before you slink off, dinners in about an hour be down to help set the table okay?”

“Sure mom” He grabs a bag of chips from the cabinet and tilts his head towards the stairs “Come on,” grabbing her hand and Lara Jean glances nervously at his mom before she waves them away.

Lara Jean wants to hang in the kitchen a little longer and bask in the warm domesticity of it, but Peter pulls her upstairs.

He slings his backpack on his floor before pulling her on the bed with him.

It’s not the first time she's been in his room, but it is the first time she's been there while his mom is home, it’s always so tidy compared to hers which is usually a mess of clothing and books that she shoves into her closet while Peter waits downstairs before she lets him come up.

“Does your mom make your bed Peter?” she asks glancing around his room.

“I keep my own room neat thank you” he smiles and then pokes her “unlike some people” 

She laughs and then shuts up when he kisses her. He slides his hand through her hair, his thumb resting just beneath her ear, and Lara Jean shivers before pulling away and murmurs against his mouth “We do have to study you know” she shifts over to grab her notes from her backpack.

Peter grimaces a counter argument ready so she adds, “And your mom is downstairs.” He sighs loudly, moving down on his floor and pulls out his folders and textbook.

******

“I haven't had time to study” he groans ‘I’m not ready for this test Monday”

“You're gonna do fine” she says looking over his class notes, “you have a solid outline of the chapters the test is covering” She glances at Peter where he’s laying on his floor his arm covering his face.

“Hey”

“Mmm?” Peter murmurs.

“What’s really up?”

Peter blows out a breath, “I’m just worried I’m gonna fail, the dates always fuck me up.”

“Yeah but even in AP Mr. Davis’s tests don’t get that specific except for a couple of questions”

It’s not like Peter’s stupid, he's not. He’s maintaining a solid B average, above the requirements for student athletes and he has an actual social life, so really Lara Jean thinks it's pretty great with all his commitments. She puts his notes down and tilts her head, looking at him when he can’t see. He has been pretty tired, and she knows that Peter’s who is so naturally good at a lot of things, gets moody and insecure when he feels like he’s not gonna do a good job at right away.

“Hey,” Lara Jean reaches over and tugs Peter’s arm off his face “Do you want to take a break?” giving him a look.

Peter grins and leans up to kiss her.

******

“You know what you said earlier about Mom making my bed,” Peter is reading over his notes again at her insistence. 

“Yeah” Lara Jean says from where’s she’s moved out of Peters reach as incentive. 

“She’s usually too tired to do all that stuff, and my dad never helped” he scratches the back of his neck in what she knows is a nervous gesture “so I guess the least I can do is clean up and make sure Owen cleans too.”

“Hey” she says he looks at her and leaning over she kisses his cheek. “You’re a nice boy, Peter Kavinsky”

Which of course is when Owen throws open Peter’s door with his phone out taking a pic, “aw this was supposed to be blackmail material”

“get out!” Peter yells throwing a pillow at him

Owen dodges successfully and says “mom said to come down and help”

“Okay we’ll be down in a minute”

Peter springs up, reaching out a hand to help up Lara Jean. 

They go down a little after to help with the finishing touches, Caesar salad and garlic bread, Peter helping Owen set the table.

“This is really nice” Ms. Kavinsky smiles.

Peter smiles at his mom, and she thought he might look like his dad but when Peter smiles in that soft way he looks just like his mom.

****  
“Hey, Peter says grinning, “I got an A on that test”

“Peter that’s amazing” she shrieks and hugs him. 

He’s grinning too, kind of abashedly before he smirks and asks “Where's my reward Covey?” 

“Your reward is a job well done” she says primly and twists out of his arms.

Peter laughs and pulls her back in by the waist and kisses her. Her eyes shut and she can’t help it but she kind of melts against him, loving how he’s so tall and she has to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him back, she loves how he’s so gentle with her but now he’s hauling her against him, his arms wrapped around her. She lets herself be walked back until her legs bump her bed, crawling backwards onto it, Peter following her. 

He pulls back for a second, checking for some silent signal from Lara Jean and she pulls him back in, her hands sliding up the back of his shirt pulling him closer, Peter’s hands still around her waist, slipping under her shirt and She can’t think of anything else but Peter and his soft mouth, how he kisses, his lips on her neck, his hands moving over the front of her bra, brushing against the sides as they move to her back moving to unhook it.

Lara Jean wraps her leg around his and kisses his neck, and Peter breaks the kiss to gasp and arches against her, and she can only think “Oh that's interesting” for a split second before she feels him hard against her thigh. 

She sits up abruptly “Um” she’s blushing, sure her whole entire face is red. 

“Um,” Peter echoes, breathless a little,”can you give me a second?” he asks laying flat on his back, eyes closed. 

He looks wrecked, his hair a mess and chest rising and falling as he breathes. 

“Uh, sure” she says overly bright, clearing her throat and saying again more normally “Sure.”

She gets up escaping to the hallway bathroom she shares with Kitty and splashes cold water on her face, willing herself to stop blushing and breathe normally.

She can’t go back into her room just yet not with Peter there, so she silently freaks out for a few more seconds while waiting.

Peter’s sitting up when she comes back in “You okay?” 

“Yeah” Lara Jean nods, biting her lip and hovering awkwardly in the doorway.

“Do you want to talk?” Peter asks.

Talking about it is kind of the last thing she wants to do. 

“Can we just go downstairs and watch a movie?” 

She sits a little farther away from Peter than she usually does, not cuddling together watching a movie she can’t even focus on, despite him letting her pick again. She knows he isn't watching either, upset and glancing at her periodically. They’re both quiet and Kitty keeps glancing at the two of them knowing something is up

It's not that Lara Jean isn't aware of it, of the want that tugs in the pit of her stomach sometimes. How kissing Peter can get so intense and how she’s worried that she won’t want to stop one day. It’s just that, they’ve spent a lot of time exploring the vast territory between first and second base, which she is comfortable with, she’s completely okay with that space. And the idea of going further even if the future freaks her out a little. 

***  
So she does what she does best when confronted with a problem that she doesn't want to deal with, avoidance. 

It’s harder than she thought it would be to avoid Peter during school, begging off to work in the library during lunch and catching a ride home with Chris instead. Ignoring his texts throughout the day.

She knows she’s being stupid. 

She hears a knock on her window and glances at the clock, It’s late and she’s already in her bed, reading a book.

She gets up and opens the window, Peter crouched outside and climbs in.

“Peter what are you doing here?” she whispers furiously .

“We need to talk” he says leaning against her wall.

“So you come over in the middle of the night?”

“You avoided me all day at school and you ignored my texts” Peter points out while shrugging his shoulders ‘What else am I supposed to do Covey?”

She crosses her arms and is ready to take the offensive when Peter continues, “You can’t just ignore me, that’s not how relationships work Lara Jean.”

“You’re mad” she says softly, sitting back on her bed while Peter still leans against her wall. He shakes his head before deflating a little.

“Hey” Peter says “I am really sorry that I made you uncomfortable in any way.”

They’re quiet for a bit before Lara Jean admits, “I wasn’t uncomfortable”

“Okay so what was it?” Peter scrubs his face in frustration.

“You’re right” Lara Jean admits “I shouldn’t avoid you, I’m sorry Peter” and exhales “This is all so new to me. Physical stuff is a really big deal, and I’m not ready for a lot of it. It’s” she pauses and twists her lips ruefully “scary”

Peter’s quiet, “I’m not trying to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do, am I?”

“No. no.” Lara Jean says shaking her head emphatically “I just don’t want us to go too fast” 

“I’m so okay with you leading here, I don’t want to us to do anything you’re not okay with.” Peter comes closer and sits next to her on the bed, “And I get that, I’m kind of nervous too” he says not looking at her.

“You’ve done it all before though.”

Peter turns to look at her, eyes soft “Yeah but not with you,This is new for me too.”


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, so what did you think about “My Love from Another Star?” Lara Jean asks Margot. They're skyping late at night (Lara Jean's time) and morning before classes (Margot's time). 

“Mmmm, I don’t know Lara Jean, you’re much more into these cheesy K-dramas than I am.”

“Oh come on!” Lara Jean groans, “It was good okay! They were destined to be together” 

Margot laughs, “You’re just such a romantic Lara Jean,” waiting a beat she smirks and asks, “How’s Peter?”

Lara Jean feels her cheeks heating up and covers her face with her hands, while Margot cracks up, the sound warm and familiar coming through her computer speakers.

*******

It’s late after they get out of the movies, but neither of them want to head home just yet, Lara Jean’s curfew not for another hour. Without talking about it Peter starts heading to the diner, holding hands sliding into the chairs at their regular table.

They’re talking about the movie which Peter had to be bribed to see with the promise of a superhero movie in the future. When Lady Bird was dropped off at the airport to fly to college by her mom, Lara Jean had to look away and blink rapidly, hoping Peter didn’t notice.

“What was your mom like?” Peter asks quietly. Because of course Peter noticed.

Lara Jean looks down and thinks, “You know there’s a lot that's getting harder to remember, it’s been almost 6 years.” 

Peter reaches over and takes her hand, quiet and listening. 

“And one day I’ll have lived without her longer than I did with her, and I think about all the things she won’t be there for, and I get really sad” Lara Jean’s eyes are kind of liquid with unshed tears, but Peter doesn’t say anything, just holds her hand. 

She reaches into her purse taking out a couple of quarters, sliding them into the jukebox on the table.

“Can I play you this song?” she pushes the button and Tears for Fears fills the diner.

She takes a breath and starts, “So when I was here with my dad he played this for me…” 

***********

She’s kissing Peter in her room, her dad at the hospital and Kitty at a sleepover at Brielle’s house, sitting on top of him, and when she kisses his neck he makes that noise, a soft sigh that Lara Jean wants to keep, secret and safe to herself, locked away in her hatbox. 

She sits up and Peter keeps his hands on her thighs tracing the skin between her skirt and knee socks. 

“What’s up Covey?” he asks.

Biting her lip, she undoes the row of buttons on her shirt and Peter stares, his mouth sort of open and glancing between her face and her chest like he can’t believe what she's doing.

She leaves it hanging open not really daring to go much further. 

“Whoa,” Peter says stunned silent for a second, hesitates his hand hovering, “Can I?”

Lara Jean nods and Peter pushes her shirt off her shoulders “I like your bra” he grins against her lips and cups his hand over her bra and kisses her again, pulling her back down on top of him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean and Peter's thoughts on them.

Sometimes when she’s hanging with Peter, at a party or at lunch with him when he’s talking with the guys not really paying attention to her, she kind of zones out a bit, rand has this out of body experience, like, is this really what her life is now? Greg and Trevor are nice enough and so are their girlfriends, but they don’t feel like hers, not the way that Chris and Lucas and even Josh do. It sometimes feels like Peter takes up all the space in the room, the star of the lacrosse team, the popular jock that everyone likes, so she’s trying to fit into all the spaces she can, take up as much room as she can.

Sometimes she does feel insecure or jealous of Gen, especially when she catches her or Emily looking at them and feels the weight of Peter’s arm around her. She trusts Peter, she does, she wasn’t the only one who was hurt by what Gen did, but God they're both so young to have gone through so much. And Lara Jean gets Peter in a way that she thinks no one else does, he doesn’t have to be the shiny all-star athlete with her. She can sometimes see the pressure and weight of expectations go away when they’re just hanging out, when he confides his worries about the team and his grades and his mom to her, when he naps on their couch after practice when he’s so tired, her dad fussing over it but waking him up to eat dinner with them. 

Being in love with Peter means making herself vulnerable and open to hurt but trusting him, because he’s doing the same thing. 

*****  
Lara Jean’s quiet on the drive to her house, and he glances over at her, she’s reading a new novel in his car, he doesn’t take it personally, he knows that she’s just recharging, that sometimes lunch with the guys is a lot and she gets a little quiet and distracted when they get really loud. He was worried when she did it the first time, “No, I’m just thinking.” Covey said. 

He just wants to be sure she’s having fun, that she’s cool. She just makes him so happy sometimes, just being with her and the quiet comfort and certainty of being seen and understood. He wants to know that she feels the same way. 

It wasn't like that with Gen, and of course it wouldn't be they are two completely different people but he can't help but compare sometimes, the ease that Lara Jean fits into his life, how his mom says he seems relaxed and happier. How she always brings treats for his mom and Owen. The quiet pride he feels when she gets her tests back with A’s or kills it at essays and written assignments. 

Gen took up so much space, his attention, his time and focus. He doesn’t know when their relationship stopped being healthy, at a certain point it was like co-dependence, they were together for so long that they didn’t know why they were together anymore.

The guys kind of rib him about dating Lara Jean, like typical guy shit how far they’ve gone and some bullshit about they didn’t know she got down like that in the hot tub and it is harder for girls. So it’s a good reason to not really hang out with the guys from the lacrosse team that much, except for Greg and Trevor. 

But his relationship with Covey feels like something he wants to keep to himself, especially since it’s still so new. And it sucks that so much of the start of them was posted without their permission for everyone to see, and that everyone makes assumptions and starts rumors. Their relationship progress or not is something no one else should know. 

Like how everyone knows that he and Gen lost it to each other and that's so annoying, like his business all over the place. He’s not super private but it’s super weird that strangers knew to the exact time and place he lost his virginity. So like, this time he wants to do it right, so much of being with LJ is in the quiet moments when it’s just them. He wants him and Lara Jean to take it slow and go at their own pace. He wants it to be right.

**Author's Note:**

> Story title from Mitski, “Best American Girl” about trying to be an all American girl for an all American boy, I thought it fitting for Lara Jean and Peter.


End file.
